
The first few days after the break up are the hardest. All you can do is survive and know in time things WILL get better. The day after your break up call in sick from work, sleep all day, and eat whatever you want. Remember it’s okay to mourn the relationship. During the next few days do things to distract you from the pain.
The best thing you can do after a breakup is cut off all ties to the person you were envolved with. That means no calling, texting, e-mailing, for 60 days if not more. This is called a "he-tox", by the wonderful authors of
It's Called A Breakup Because It's Broken. Lean on your friends. This is a time which you need them the most. They will be your support system. If you disappeared on your friends, while in the relationship, reconnect with them. They will be happy to spend time with you and will do what ever is in their power to take your mind of the breakup. Laugh, cry and make fun of your ex with them. Let them take care of you for the next few weeks.
Put all mementos from your relationship into a box. This means all pictures, cds, clothes, or anything your ex gave you while in the relationship. Stash you box somewhere out of sight and don’t retrieve it until you are fully over your ex. It’s best not to dwell on the past. Some people consider burning the things their ex gave them helpful. Personally I don’t, because it’s part of your past. It’s good to remember your former relationships because each person who comes into our lives teaches us something.
Make plans with your friends every weekend for the first month following your breakup. It’s important to do this especially if you spent a lot of time during the weekend with your ex. Spending time with friends is not only comforting but it’s fun. Your friends can help distract you from focusing on the pain, or they can be a shoulder to cry on.
Don’t stalk your ex on myspace or facebook. A friend of mine gave me a really helpful tip when you feeling especially inclined to peep your ex’s page. Tie a rubber band around your wrist, pull the band away from your wrist, and snap it back. “Ouch, but that hurts.” Yea… that’s the point. It’s supposed to be a painful reminder the relationship is over and that stalking your ex’s myspace page is a bad idea. Do you really want to risk the chance of seeing your ex’s with their new flame?
Give your self time to heal. Take what you have learned from this relationship and use it in your next. DON’T hop into bed with someone else. I’m not saying it the worst idea, but it certainly not the best. Respect yourself and your new mate. It wouldn’t be fair to enter a new relationship with excess baggage from the past. Not only is it not fair but you run the risk of hurting someone else or worse…yourself all over again. Is that what you really want?